Were there times you wonder how much effort should you put into your relationship? Are you the type who tends to measure and equalized how much you give and take from the relationship and your partner? Do you care about the time and attention your partner is able to provide to you? Everything we care about: whether the person is willing and able to give Time, Attention, Service, Touch, Words of affirmation, or anything else are fundamentally based on the TRUST you two have build. Ask yourself two questions: how much do I trust myself (gut feelings, needs, wants, desires, and inner voice), and how much do I trust my partner (how much he loves, cares, and wants me, the things he says and does during the relationship). Oftentimes we jump into a relationship because we feel the passion and the chemistry, but sooner than later we started to have expectations and desires toward each other, and then we start to complain, disagree, blame, and argue. Here are some of my suggestions to new fresh couples.
- Pay attention to how you feel about yourself when you are around your partner or how he/she makes you feel about yourself
- Gather information to see if you two have shared values and goals that you two are moving to a similar direction
- Check in with yourself to see if you have been seen and heard in your relationship
- Observe how much your partner cares about your happiness and puts in efforts for change
- Build the trust together while doing all of the above. Contact me if you have insecurity issue or have a hard time trusting others.
Remember, you are 100% responsible to your relationship because it takes two to build and maintain one. However, you can’t give 100% to your partner and don’t ask one either because we have a life to live, which includes self-time, friend-time, family-time, work-time, workout-time, sleeping time and many more.
Takeaways: Take time and effort to learn about each other while building a strong foundation — TRUST. The stronger the foundation, the more powerful you are when dealing with difficult and challenged moments. Be 100% responsible to your relationship, but don’t give 100% of you to your partner. Keep the relationship healthy and long-lasting. Cheers~